Sleeps with Cats
by StBridget
Summary: Just how much space can two cats take up, anyway? Steve learns the hard way. Pet verse.


Hawaii Five-0 is property of CBS and its creators

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Steve McGarrett stared at his bed at a loss as to what to do. There was a cat on each side of his king sized bed, right in the middle, leaving no room for his six-foot-plus frame. This was new. Yes, the cats usually slept with him, but typically Ninja curled up on his pillow (which was inconvenient enough, but Steve was used to it), and NJ slept at the foot, perfectly out of the way when he wasn't pouncing on Steve's toes (which was often). Tonight, each had claimed his own side of the bed, stretched out full length, front paws extending ahead, tail stretched behind.

Steve forced himself to assess the situation like he would a tactical op. This was a simple insertion. He'd done these plenty of times. Piece of cake. Let's see. . .he pondered the bed. There—if he moved carefully, he could fit himself into the space between the cats. Perfect.

Steve got onto his hands and knees and carefully crawled across the top of the bed, taking care not to disturb the cats. Ninja opened an eye and glared, but that was it. NJ didn't stir. Steve carefully slid under the covers, keeping an eye on the cats. Steve breathed a sigh of relief and tried to get comfortable.

That was a trick in and of itself. The space was so narrow, Steve had to sleep on his side, and he was used to sleeping on his back. Plus, he couldn't even roll over without disturbing a cat. Well, he'd just have to make do. After a lot of shifting, Steve managed to get himself situated enough to drift off.

Steve had just about managed it when he felt something bat at his toes. NJ had woken up. "NJ, no!" The cat ignored him and continued playing with Steve's feet. Steve kicked out, hoping to discourage him. No dice. NJ just took it as an invitation, leaping onto Steve's feet and wrapping his paws around one. Steve yelped in pain. "Ouch, that hurt!" His voice started NJ, who scurried off.

Well, that solved another problem at least. Steve scooted over to the now vacant side of the bed and stretched out. Ahhh, much better. Finally, _finally_ , Steve fell asleep.

Only to be awakened a few hours later to find he'd rolled on his side and was currently breathing fur. It took him a minute to realize Ninja was stretched out beside him, body pressed into Steve's face. Steve sighed and rolled over, only to be met with a wall of fur on the other side. NJ was slightly further down the bed than Ninja, so Steve got not only a faceful of fur but of cat but. Great. Deciding on the lesser of two evils, Steve turned his face into Ninja again and willed himself back to sleep. It took some effort, but finally oblivion claimed him again.

The next time Steve woke, it was to the sensation of something brushing his face. Steve swatted at it without opening his eyes, but the sensation didn't go away. It was really annoying. He'd faced torture, but this was horrific in its own way. Every time he moved, it was like a feather brushed across his face. Try as he might, he couldn't avoid it. Steve held perfectly still, but something shifted on his chest and the feathery feeling was back.

Reluctantly, Steve opened his eyes to find a pair of green ones fixed on his. He stared back, but the gaze was unblinking, and it made him nervous. Finally, Steve looked away. "Quit staring at me, Ninja." The cat just gave a soft meow and continued staring. Steve closed his eyes, but the tickling sensation was back. Steve now realized it was whiskers brushing his face whenever he moved. The knowledge did not help the uncomfortable feeling. He shoved at Ninja, but the cat didn't budge. It was like the ten-pound cat suddenly weighed twice that, or even four times that. Steve finally managed to move Ninja a couple of inches, just enough so his whiskers weren't constantly brushing against Steve's face. Steve sighed in relief and closed his eyes once more.

But if Steve thought he'd be able to fall back to sleep, he was sadly mistaken. A paw batted at his head, followed. Steve opened his eyes and tilted his head up. This time, he was met by amber eyes. "Mew!" NJ said as he batted Steve's hair again.

"Ah, come on, guys. Can't a fellow get some sleep around here?" NJ mewed again, once again accompanied by another bat. Steve looked to Ninja for help. "Can't you get him to lay off?" Ninja just blinked.

Ninja kept up the staring, and NJ kept up the batting until Steve couldn't stand it. He bucked up, dislodging Ninja, and grabbed NJ. He deposited the younger cat on the floor and turned back to the bed, relieved to see that Ninja, disgusted at being disturbed, had stalked off and was sitting across the room grooming himself, hind leg in the air.

At last, Steve had the bed to himself. He positioned himself right in the middle, stretching out his arms and legs so no cat could possibly encroach on him. He got comfortable and closed his eyes.

And that was when his alarm rang. Steve just groaned.


End file.
